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[personal profile] majutsukai
What does someone who values harmony as highly as I do, do, in such a chaotic little world as this?

People don't always get along. It's a simple fact of reality. But I don't choose to be torn up by it. It's just... how I am. I can't function when someone I care about is mad at someone else I care about, or at me.

I try my damndest to help and patch things up where I can, but with every patch, two new leaks spring forth.

I can't fix things, but I can't be satisfied with them broken. So, what do you do?

Date: 2008-05-24 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somatosensation.livejournal.com
You keep at it until you find the original source of the leak. Patching up the holes will only work for a little while until the patches break or new fissures spring up and you're back at square one.

If you're on the sidelines, all you can do is help the one in the fight shop for the right tools to fix the damage.

I love you, Matt. I know what this is about, and I'm doing what I can. I'm sorry that you're getting hurt in the process, but all of this really really means a lot to me. You're the best damn friend I ever had and sometimes I don't know where the hell I'd be without you.

Date: 2008-05-24 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] epynephrin.livejournal.com
Unfortunately, one of the things I've learned fastest is that there is no way to really control people. They can be manipulated, which is generally unappreciated, but they cannot be made to do anything.

What I do, when trapped between a rock and a hard place, is to let it be. Don't play favorites, don't choose a side. If one party starts talking negatively about the other, I don't let it slide--I casually remind them that I'm still friends with both sides, and that I don't want to tarnish either reputation, so they need to deal with that other person and not me.

It's not your fault, it's not your choice, it's got nothing to do with you, thus it is beyond your control. However, it's also not your responsibility, which means it's between them and them alone. Trying to stick your nose in it will only make it worse; you'll end up pushing one or potentially both away. It sounds callous, but it's not--self-preservation dictates that you leave it.

Date: 2008-05-24 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkalixious.livejournal.com
*hugs* I think all we can do in situations like that is to just try our best at comforting the person/people involved. There isn't really anything that you can DO for them... people have to eventually fix things for themselves. =) I've had to learn that one the hard way too.

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